Brand Jamesy: Part 6, My Buckingham Palace Christmas Job
Jungle bells and jingle bells and folks having their grannies for dinner and others having just turkeys for the same. Christmas. I love the taste of Christmas and all the stuff that comes with it; that puts in a brave fight to defy description. Here then, is an attempt at describing things beyond description or may be describing things that are beyond description on (and results of) my escapades during my Buckingham Palace Christmas Job.
- Buckingham Palace
How many are there that know that Queen Victoria served for a period of 62 years – the longest anyone in that family tree has ever done? And how many know that the current Queen (I have forgotten her name) is just 4 years away from breaking that record? Hold on, one more question: How many know that the line of succession was completely changed when King Edward – whose seven names I remember (Edward Albert Christian George Andrew Patrick David) ludicrous - decided to marry an American double divorcee? Thanks to Christmas, I am about the only bozo who can rack this off their memories. And if there exists any other, then I am one of the few (Just a little disclaimer – don’t want anyone reading this to have their self esteem dwarfed!) You will be pleased to know that Edward’s brother (George) then took the mantle completely changing the line of succession and thus allowing the current Queen (whose name I still can’t remember) to have a go and keep it in her descendants.
Christmas is a time when you dig deep beyond the depths to do something different or differently. I personally like sitting in a corner and bursting my pimples. I also like daydreaming and not paying attention to anything else but the off-key sound of madness between my earlobes. Sometimes, I like to sleep and avoid talking to people or animated objects in my dreams in the name of sleep-talking. When I can bear it, I like to eat a lot of starchy food until my system demands a pit latrine – in which I, in conjunction with gravity, have devised an efficient way of balancing the act for maximum accuracy. And when I do finally talk, I mumble in such a way that my fart would be the more pleasant of the two. While people like History and others burn their midnight oil making love (whatever that involves) and being loved, I simply like my Maths and Computing. Those close enough to have heard me talk will agree with the rest of the world that hasn’t heard me talk that I potentially would do with filling my head before empting my mouth. So this Christmas, I set out to fill my head.
Trampling upon the cemetery (of those that have gone dust-to-dust from the beginning of timed time) in search of knowledge, wisdom, madness or anything different from my normalcy aforementioned, I then came across things that automatically qualify as bizarre in my reckoning. While some farmers painted their sheep blue just to distinguish them from snow (stupid, right?) was well within my standards of normal things, finding out about the head of the family down at a home called Buckingham Palace in a city known as London could well have landed me in prison – if I were the judge and my norm was the law.
During Christmas, we break from the norm and rest, eat, drink, tell jokes and stay with those we love. But these being the norm to me, I don’t break the norm to rest, I fast on food for a few minutes, I drink but water, I become boring and last and least, look for someone to love. Yeah yeah, after you are done having a great festive season, please put in a word for me for my next year’s Christmas Job at your sister’s.
Promoting Brand Jamesy
©Jamesy 27/12/2010
Brand Jamesy: Part 2, Dear God
Dear God,
I would like to apologize that due to unforeseeable extenuating circumstances, I have been unable to use the software you downloaded and installed inside me. I have been running procrastination operating system pregnant with trojan horses from malicious vendors disguised as friends. My anti-destruction has turned into a distraction especially with the noises that have been ever-present in the nightmares I have of late been characterised with. As a result, I have found solace in Mark Z. – the male goddess of socials and togetherness, who has promised that every minute I spend with him will be free of charge at least as far as I am concerned.
But sir, I am afraid that the goddess of love knows his tracks and how to make a dollar and another. And I, though finding solace, have been unable to reboot, recharge my batteries and press Controlled Alternative Repeat in order to clear my lines. It is in this regard, your excellency at the highest Helpdesk, that I contact you seeking your unrivalled consultation.
As a matter of fact, my friends have let me know that you have recently acquired yourself a brand new copy of the Samsung Galaxy tab to add to your nano ipod video ediion. About the former, if this helps my case, I would like to let you know that you could catch the latest football news and even watch video highlights by installing the ESPN application. You may be interested to know that the first 3 months of your subscription will be free of charge after which they will require of you £4 or something every month. But since you are the King of Kings, the Footballer of Footballers and the Provider of Providers, I am sure they can give you a deal like say, instead of charging you money, they could get a blessing in disguise.
And lastly, about the ipod, I would like one last favour. Could you please add me to your playlist?
With Kind regards
Promoting brand Jamesy @http://www.jf32.com/
©Jamesy 20/11/10
Immigration Cap Crap
Theresa
Well, (Home Secretary) Theresa May did as the Tories promised and went ahead to introduce an interim measure to curb the growing numbers of immigrants into the country. As a matter of fact, the government is planning to introduce a set number for non-EU immigrants in April 2011 and at the moment, they are working hard to ensure that there is no surge in numbers of immigrants who are alarmed by this news, at least until April 2011.
In the paper, those targeted are skilled and highly skilled workers whereas international students would also be affected come April 2011. Ministers of religion, sporty people et al are exempted.
The Background of All This
From an international student’s point of view, I duly understand the problem and respect the Briton for the love of his country and the safeguarding of the national interest by being conservative. I have come across people who after establishing that I study here go right ahead to ask whether I will be going back home after my studies. Others are constantly complaining about their next door neighbours whose kids are a handful whereas others are complaining that the lack of jobs (which you may think it’s due to the recession) is attributable to non-EU immigrants in the country. The government, on the other hand, thinks there is a strain on Public Services and therefore feels the need to ‘control’ the numbers of those coming into the country; after all, they have to act in keeping with the definition of the word ‘conservative’ from which they derive their title.
As an outsider, I am aware some people are waking up and finding my invasion not really concordant with their culture or natural being. There are lots of restaurants around – and none of them seem to serve fish and chips! There are many football clubs in the country constituting to the best football league in the world. And on the contrary, the English team does not get that far in the world cup. In other words, there is a need for more ‘Home-grown players’ in the Premier league. In short, there is need for control of non-EU professional footballers in the country, Eastern Europeans and the rest of the non-EU contingent in the quest to free up resources for the native Briton.
Missed the Point
What Theresa May introduced on the 28th of June 2010 is a cap to reduce the number of those coming to live in the country by 1,300. As earlier stated, those targeted are Tier 1 (Highly Skilled Workers) and Tier 2 (Skilled Workers) and international students. In 2008, there was a total of 273,610 international students moving into the country. The British economy gets a total of £12bn a year generated from the fees paid by international students. The common man in the street does not know that non-EU international students don’t get loans and bursaries or what have you as do the home students. As such, there is not a justifiable amount of strain that these students cause on the economy nor the Public services. They in fact pay to the last penny of their every minute spent in the country. On the other hand, it is only an imbecile who would think that Highly Skilled workers are not needed in an economy. If one can justify that they possess skills that are on demand in an economy, there really should be no time wasted on drafting such ineffective (if not detrimental) recommendation as the Home Secretary office just did. It is shooting yourself in the foot and completely forgetting who to target.
Take it or Kick it, My Recommendations:
Going through the streets of London or any major city, I would not fail to notice loiters or people that the Briton may refer to as ‘a strain on the economy’. These are the unskilled, the unproductive and criminal minded individuals who are a threat not just to the natives, but also to those who have duly earned the right to be in the country. And shortly put, the government should target such (work out how!). As for Eastern Europeans, these, like the Briton, have a freedom of movement and I don’t see the Tories doing much about that. It may be easier ditching fish and chips for the Kebab. And as for football, do what you may, but the local boys have not been prevented from playing football. They are some of the heavily-pocketed individuals in that sector. So, may be a matter of getting your act together.
These are modern days and the human race is interacting at a very fast pace that sooner or later, there will not be a divide in race. What will be will be.
Jamesy
The Miracle I Wanna See
I prefer writing in verse, but this time I keep it in prose.
What is in it for some of us is a difficult question. Everybody has their own view on life. I personally find it puzzling and one I only know so much about. Yet I choose to control mine the way I want, paying attention to the fact that I may make mistakes in the process. But one thing I know and would like to uphold is the fact that life is full of mistakes and if there be an equal number of mistakes as their is of getting things right, then the more the mistakes I make now, the better.
It is imperative to have an aim in life. This is the reason behind being a little person who can sleep like a baby and dream dreams. Personally speaking, I have been shaped by my past. I embrace every bit of the story of my past, because it is who I am. What I have seen as I grow up has moulded my dreams and made me into what I want to be in the near future.
I have seen and experienced neglect in the society. I have seen motherless children, fatherless children, families without a parental figure – all due to neglect. I have seen lack of responsibility in those that claim to be societal leaders. I have seen hatred, abuse, death of innocent people. I have seen society rotting away to modern ills, corruption, nepotism and enmity. I have grown up seeing and experiencing things I don’t want my young one to see or experience. There are many people out there living miserable lives. And I relate with them because the tear they cry, I have cried and the sorrow they have, I have had. As Morgan Freeman says in the film Bruce Almighty, when we encounter problems, we look up to the sky expecting miracles. We don’t realize that we are the miracles we wanna see. I write this knowing crystal clear the miracles I want. I want these people to laugh the laugh I have laughed and have the smile I have had. I want to be the reason for that. And I want my young ones to see different things, experience a complete life and learn to appreciate everyone the way they are. Whether different in gender or race, physical orientation or beauty, the person one may hate may be the sunshine in another’s eyes, or the moonlight of a little person somewhere.
I want my breath to sustain me until I have seen my miracle happen. And I do not ask much of the world. Just the strength to build and climb the ladder that I may be the one someone looks up to. Whatever happens, I know how to be happy. And I will be.
Truth
Like everything else, ‘truth’ has had its fair share of different definitions. There are many people whose job is finding the truth. Come to think of it, truth is anything that the majority believes in. If only the minority believe in something, regardless of whether or not that thing is absolutely true, it won’t be true. What is truth without a consequence anyway, even if the consequence is mere recognition of something as being true? But it’s not always the case that the majority will believe in the right thing. The factors influencing the choice of belief of the majority is another trivial and hard topic which may not easily come into the picture here. In essence, it is wiser and safer to completely forget about that word. There is no such thing as ‘truth’.
There is no truth if it its corner stones are built on the perceptions of the majority. There is no truth if we have got to use reported speech or something from the past to prove its existence. And there is no truth as long as man continues to be man living (at least) in this life. For as long as man is still man and living in this life, man will never say the truth if its consequences are detrimental to them. In a natural setting, there is always an equal number of people believing in something as those that don’t. But when there are either good or bad consequences to a certain belief, these numbers will not easily be equal. And that’s when truth is lost.
Anything extracted from the past is vague. It is vague because we often cannot translate contexts. Without context, we lose the backbone of any past occurrences and we therefore cannot satisfactorily claim that we are conveying truth. We have spent many years of our lives having different opinions of how something happened. These different opinions have been shaped around their suitability for different people and their positions in the society or in the circumstances. We have refused to compromise. We have refused to bend lower than our egos and accept something as being the way it is or the way it happened. We have polluted the very river of truth at the mouth of which we have sat with containers of expectations trying to fetch ‘truth’.
But man is the same. What is wrong to one man is wrong to another man and the other. So long as this revelation is not made in public, man knows when they are lying and when they are not, when they know something is right and when they know it is wrong. Man can never, though, go down without self-defense, even if that defense compromises what they know as right or true. This is where the story is in the modern world. Man is captured between accepting and acknowledging things as they are and trying to change facts to suit themselves and their positions. Man is presently working day and night to discover truth.
There is no truth. But if truth exists, it exists no farther than in individual’s minds; as soon as mouths are opened, something else pours out depending on the individual and what they claim they are fighting for. So belief kicks in, whereby belief is anything qualified as ‘true’ by different reasons and views. Next is depression. Depression for failure to establish truth. Then sadness. Madness. End of story.
It doesn’t matter what truth is, and whether or not it exists. It doesn’t matter what people think and whether or not they know about us from the past. Time is neither ripe in the past nor in the future. Context will never be transferable from the past or postponed to the future. So we can’t look on either side of today. If we can forget what people say about us and what they have taught themselves to think about us, if we can stop wasting time trying to find out what ‘happened’ and if we can believe in what we know as true and keep the faith, I believe, we will be happy.
